And jokes
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
Who is the most horny and fat ass god?
Kim Jung Un.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.