And jokes
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesnโt stop when people start dying.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while youโre asleep.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesnโt brown your meat.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Guys, I promise Iโm not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Whatโs the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.