And jokes
Fuck you and your shitty family!
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Friend, you're bold and fat.
Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Hide and seek.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
What is big, round, and gassy? Uranus.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!
Me and 1/2 of my friends.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.