And jokes
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"