And jokes
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:
"UNKNOWN"
Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...