And jokes

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed, "Rocket League!"

Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?

What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both never get erect.

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

Worst joke ever: me and my user.

What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

What's black and long? A line at KFC.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.