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Mom

Doin your mom doin doin your mom

You know we straight with doin your mom

I'm doin your mom. Yes yours!

I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin out your drawers.

Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen

But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.

I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?

She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.

Five minutes later she agreed to get with me

So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.

I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start.

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!

Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.

She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young

To be in the bed, butt-naked doin your mom.

Doin your mom doin doin your mom

You know we straight with doin your mom

I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.

You other brothers can't deny that she's fly.

We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that.

She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black.

But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F.

Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol

But If I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez.

Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed.

She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest

She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.

She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness

I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess.

I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song

Cause I'm in your house every night doin your mo-om.

Doin your mom doin doin your mom

You know we straight with doin your mom

I'm havin' sex with your mother

That makes me better than you.

I'm havin' sex with your mother

That makes me better than you.

Memes

Class

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.
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    • Life

    Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

    The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."
    Ale memes

    Community

    All i try to do is hep yet people just keep fucking turnig against me i just keep amking the same mistaks over and over i keep jumping to incorect conclusions and assume that my next move will help yet it doesn't i just keep hurting and hurting and hurting i'm scared i'm a fucking egotisteccal wimp i don got no more friends irl i j have fake friends here i can't keep my friends i'm fucking miserable if yall knew me irl, youd probably try to avoid me i'm an ugly ass retard with no social life i'm starting to think about ending it al fml i'm pulling people apart i'm just breaking everything i touch i don't feel anything anymore i just feel cold nothing dark

    1944, October 7: An uprising happens in Birkenau, destroying machines that murdered many Jews. 1948, May 14, the UN declares that the Mandatory State of Palestine is replaced by Eretz Yisrael, or, the Land of Israel. On that day, all the surrounding countries launched a ruthless attack, and spawned a wave of minor terror acts. The terror acts grew after the 6-day war in 1967. 1973, October 7: Yom Kippur; On this date… Read more

    Poll

    Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein Und das heißt Erika Heiß von hunderttausend kleinen Bienelein Wird umschwärmt Erika Denn ihr Herz ist voller Süßigkeit Zarter Duft entströmt dem Blütenkleid Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein Und das heißt Erika In der Heimat wohnt ein blondes Mägdelein Und das heißt Erika Dieses Mädel ist mein treues Schätzelein Und mein Glück Erika Wenn das Heidekraut rot-lila blüht … Read more

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