My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
