Worst Jokes Ever
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Heh.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
How do you get a transwoman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get it's stripes.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"