Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

How do you know that Americans hate exercise?

9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?

I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.

Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield?

Everywhere.

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

How can one make Death Row a little more fun?

Musical electric chairs.

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."

"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."