Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Heh.
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
How do you get a transwoman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.