Worst Jokes Ever

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?

"Goodnight, Mom!"

Roses are red, Violets are ugly.

Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

Dude, what if 9/11 happened because they wanted slavery back?

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.

I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.

It’s called Finding Chemo.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.

Abortion isn't murder, it's more like backspacing a typo.

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"

Nothing.