Worst Jokes Ever
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
How do you get "Dick" from Richard?
Ask him nicely.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
I'll rate this a 9/11.
Why did the AI go to school?
To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"!
Ha ha ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy, fellow humans.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
What did the egg say to the tuna?
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!