Worst Jokes Ever
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.