Worst Jokes Ever
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.