Worst Jokes Ever
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?
And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.
This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"
"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
Why's missy Shaw such a slug? Because she's obese. Hahahahahaha!
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.