Worst Jokes Ever
I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
Ur dad lesbian.
Ur sister a mister.
Ur family tree LGBT.
Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.