Worst Jokes Ever

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

"Come on, take the camera!"

"Isn't it clear?"

"Well, look!"

My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.

Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.

What did the builder say after the foundation?

"Employees!"

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.

After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"

Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw a wok down the stairs.

What's Elizabeth Warren's nickname?

Pocahontas

What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?

"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"

It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!

What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?

A whore.

Abortions are a way for whores to dodge accountability.

It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.

Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.

Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.

Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"

Friend: "Dagobert Duck."

Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."

Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"

Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"

"I think my baby is so similar to me!"

"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"

Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."