Worst Jokes Ever
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.