Worst Jokes Ever
The word "ginger" is just the n-word reorganized.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation? A period. Why? Because it marks the end of a sentence.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
I hate myself.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
Me: "I like kids."
When I was born the doctors said, "it's a boy!" Then when they went to cut the umbilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said, "Oh, it's a girl."