Worst Jokes Ever

What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.

I like penguins.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

Many soles were lost.

Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.

What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?

I've never seen the inside of a mansion.

Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"

Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"

Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.

A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"

Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.

Why did the bum get a slap?

Because it was being too cheeky.

There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!

Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120

58008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!

"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha

The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

Why are there no Olympics in Mexico? Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.

What do you call a deaf animal?

Anything, it can't hear you.

I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.

So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?

Hold its nose.

Worst joke ever.