Worst Jokes Ever
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
Paki curry is shit.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
The happier they get, the less they see.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
I like penguins.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.