Worst Jokes Ever
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."