Worst Jokes Ever
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish