Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Pedophile

49 views ·

People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

In a white van.

People

398 views ·

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

Blowjob

804 views ·

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

Choice

400 views ·

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

Heaven

52 views ·

My favorite toast for parties:

May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

Mayo

593 views ·

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

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  • Necrophiliac

    610 views ·

    Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.

    Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.

    Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.

    Poo

    11 views ·

    Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.

    Turtle

    22 views ·

    A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."

    "Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.

    The boy answered, "It's Michelle."