Worst Jokes Ever
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Female Rights?
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."