Worst Jokes Ever
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
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Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
Calculate my dick, virgins!
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."