Worst Jokes Ever

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

Man's got that big bati, you know.

Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?

Bruce Lee was no joking matter.

I'm Gay.

Why did the midget not go to bed?

He couldn't reach the bed.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Pooooop.

What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.

What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?

Put the diapers back on.

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.

What is Hitler's least favorite month?

Jewly.

How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

What did the rapist say to his victim?

"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."

My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.

Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.

A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"