Worst Jokes Ever
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Why are lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
Who is the most horny and fat ass god?
Kim Jung Un.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.