Worst Jokes Ever
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
Fucking Windows updates!
How do you poop?
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how many you throw.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."