Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.

What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?

Little boys' pants half off.

What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

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  • What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?

    One is Catholic.

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  • Boy goes to Confession.

    Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

    Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

    Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

    Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

    What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.

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  • So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

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  • So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.

    When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

    "Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.

    Then it clicked.

    "Ah, so that's how you died."

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  • My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.

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  • Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."

    Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."

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  • Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.

    The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"

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