Worst Jokes Ever
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
What's life if you don't have one...
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
"Hee hee touch my pp."
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.