Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Worst Jokes Ever
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.
Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.
The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.
A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.
Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."
She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.
The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.
He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."
