Worst Jokes Ever
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.