Worst Jokes Ever
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.