Worst Jokes Ever

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?

Stick a chicken wing up there.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Water was found on Mars.

Mars: 1 Africa: 0

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs Nice tits

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro

A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."

And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.