A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
