Worst Jokes Ever
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
A depressed kid tried to give a tree a high-five, but the tree left him hanging.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
So when my parents say no to "isms," I say, "Can I be homophobic?"
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!