I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
Worst Jokes Ever
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover their butt. Quack!
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
9: I am higher than you.
8: No, you're not!
(8 flips to his side)
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.