What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
Worst Jokes Ever
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.
Doin (DYM 4)
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like your's belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Yo mama so fat, she said the N-word!
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!