Worst Jokes Ever
I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
What TV shows do orphans not like?
"Family Guy."
Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Your bitch has Covid-19.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.
Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.
Your (DYM 36).
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.