English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
Doin (DYM 5).
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?
Gwen, I know you're the Peter Griffin guy who spams and puts the N word and spams other stuff.
Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.
I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?
Neither has he.