Worst Jokes Ever

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

How did helen kellers parents punish her?

By rearranging the furniture

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

have you heard of the.. uh Pokemon called uh rhy.. rhy

rhydon deez nuts

On 9/11 the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas, one came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.

When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.

Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."

Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."

Wife: "No, you're not."

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy" to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, i'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy.

When I woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats and eye, but when hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people loose their shit?

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work...

He’s a suicide bomber.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.

The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.

What do emos and apples have in common?

They both hang on trees.

"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"