Worst Jokes Ever

Explain Bear is my favorite.

Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.

How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

What's red and spins really fast?

Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.