Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
Dumb person: Wat idk mean?
Person 1: I don’t know.
Dumb one: Oh u don’t know okie I ask Googol.
Person 1: Wait idk means--
Dumb one (to Googol): WAT DOS IDK MANNN?
Googol: I don’t know.
Dumb one: OH ME GOOOD EVEN GOGLO DOESYN KNOWWW
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A milkshake.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.