Worst Jokes Ever
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!