Worst Jokes Ever
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Adolf Hitler
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!