I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
Worst Jokes Ever
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. ðŸ˜ðŸ’€
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite button?
Light mode.
9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.
It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.
What do you get when you cut an onion?
Onion jizz.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pizza topping? Pepperon-he-he.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You slept with my cousin but I did too.
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
