Worst Jokes Ever
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.
Why was the Orphan boy gay?
So he can call someone Daddy.
Why can’t Asian people make a white baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.