Worst Jokes Ever

Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?

The boomerang comes back.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Your dead son.

What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?

Neither can see their parents.

What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

What do you call a living Panera Bread?

Panera Breath.

What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Don't do suicide, that shit kills.

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

I made a video game about a depressed, self-harming goth.

It's mostly unskippable cutscenes though... :/

I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

Why do orphans always come back?

Because I love cock.

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?

"Here comes the airplane!"

What do u call an Asian that was born at the wrong time?

Wrong тайминг.