Worst Jokes Ever

Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.

I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.

How to silence a black protester at a rally?

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

Who wants a spot of bukkake for bedtime?

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

When we take a family photo, you are the background.

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.