Worst Jokes Ever

What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Unshakeable.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?

He didn't wanna hang out.

Are you the Twin Towers? Because I would smash you.

Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.

I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.

Osama be like: "Fuck boys, runway is full, better use this tower!"

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for hours.

Light the man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?

A: Plain.

Why can’t orphans work at AC Johnson’s?

Because it’s a family company.

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

What do cheetahs like?

Sports!

My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).

She wasn't joking. :0

We are 15....

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.

1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.

1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.