Worst Jokes Ever
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
What's George Floyd's newest song?
"I can't breathe."
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.