Worst Jokes Ever

Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.

"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."

Q: What's really long and black?

A: The line at KFC.

I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.

[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

Q: How do emo kids complement each other?

A: I like your cuts g.

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

What's big and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge.

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.

What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?

A full house.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because it's a battlefield.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.

what is less than 0?

my will to live.

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.

On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.

Tried committing suicide last night...

Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!