I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Worst Jokes Ever
I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.
My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"
Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wrongs don't make a white.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.
Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.
Husband: The second we entered the beach,
Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"
Why can't Asians have a white baby? Because two wongs don't make a white.
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
Hoi!
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
