The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.