Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.