Worst Jokes Ever

I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

Guess who likes vegetables now?

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?

Father-less.

Why was 8 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a 6 offender.

What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?

Helen Killer.

If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?

Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?

Because they can't get a parent's signature.

I killed a man in '94.

What's the opposite of an exorcism?

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...

What did the parent say to M.J.?

"Get off my kid!"

Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?

Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

Why can you bully an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

How do you give an "Alabama Girl" a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"

Abortion isn't murder.

It's backspacing a typo.

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.