Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
My life.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."