Worst Jokes Ever
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Fight in the comments.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.