How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
Basically, the Twin Towers are Angry Birds but in real life.
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Your mom's hot.
Yo mama so fat, she had to have 5 doorways to get anywhere!
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
