Worst Jokes Ever
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Expected
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
Why are Black people afraid of ghosts?
Because ghosts remind them of the KKK.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
What is Uludağ made from? Dog pee!
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
Akbar: How many crows are there, Birbal?
Birbal: 8,971.
Akbar: What if there are fewer?
Birbal: Then some crows went on vacation to visit their relatives.
Akbar: What if there are more?
Birbal: Then some came on vacation here to visit their relatives.
Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.
Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.
Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."
Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.
He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.
I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.