Worst Jokes Ever
"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
I am an Indian joke.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
Patient: Oh, doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.
Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.