New Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs Nice tits

Water was found on Mars.

Mars: 1 Africa: 0

How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?

Stick a chicken wing up there.

Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

Make Danielle Smith a lot lizard again!

My grandad and your hairline go way back.

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Why can't the orphan take a family photo?

Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.

I started working at the AISH office a few months ago.

I felt like I wasn't fitting in. Then my coworker showed me where the pepper spray and emergency contraception pills were.

Now I feel like I belong.

A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."

And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."