Worst Jokes Ever
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Lol, dick, I'm the dick and duck.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
Women.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.