Worst Jokes Ever
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Stephen Hawking forgot the WiFi password.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!