Worst Jokes Ever

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?

Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.

*walks in store* OH LITTle debhehe's!

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.

What's the difference between milk and my dad?

Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.

A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?

Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.

What show has something orphans will never have?

American Dad!