Worst Jokes Ever
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
Cops go to the hood when the shooting range is closed.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To check in on his flat mate.
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!