Worst Jokes Ever
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
Closer kin, deeper in!