Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Mexican's prison?
The border.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand π meets the little π€.
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
Why can orphans only hit a triple in baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
My therapist told me that time heals all wounds. So I stabbed him, now we wait.
Bro, your toenails are bigger than your IQ.
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: βThe fuck you doing with that knife?β
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"