For the encore, we'd love to tell you a construction joke but... we're still working on it.
Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.
Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
Why did the rapper become a magician?
Because he wanted to drop some ILL-USIONS.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some UNIVERSAL BARS!
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find the right direction for his FLOW.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of GHOSTS?
MC Shiver.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To learn his ABCs (All 'Bout Cash)!
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
What do you call a rapper who's always late?
Time Rhyme.