Worst Jokes Ever
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.