Worst Jokes Ever

Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover his butt-quack.

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.

I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”

Bend over and spell run.

What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."

I got mad at my sister's boyfriend, so I fucked his girl.

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.

My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.

Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.

What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.