Worst Jokes Ever
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Did you know the letter "F" in orphan stands for family?
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Donald Trump is a good president and not a complete moron.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.