Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
