Worst Jokes Ever

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?

Parental Login: __________

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?

A headbanger.

What do you call an emo a cappella group?

Self harmony.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

What part do people slit the most?

Everyone.

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?

They always come back.

What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

Spongulbub

Spingebinge

Sponk

Spunkulbub

Bobspunge

Spong

What did the bomber say to the jet?

"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."

*WAIT NO-*

Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

I hate my life.

Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.

Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.

Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?

He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.