Worst Jokes Ever
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What is a group of emo kids called?
A suicide squad.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
Why cant asian parents have a white child? Cuz 2 wongs dont make a white
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.