Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Worst Jokes Ever
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
