Worst Jokes Ever
POV: You liked this joke because you're straight.
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?
Covid.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.