Worst Jokes Ever

I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

Depression hits harder than my dad.

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?

Coach.

You're so poor you wash paper plates.

What did Michael Jackson say?

Nothing, he's dead.

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.

But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.

Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.

What did a cannibal have as his last meal?

Five guys.

Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"

Woman: "Sure."

Man: "How about for ten dollars?"

Woman: "What do you think I am?"

Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."

What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...

They're both plastic and kids turn them on.

What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?

They're both "sweet home Alabama."

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU...

I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.

Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.

I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.