Worst Jokes Ever
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
"Hee hee touch my pp."
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!