Worst Jokes Ever
I'm Michael Sam. I'm gay.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
What did the South Tower ask the North Tower?
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
Why did Rhydon get an orphan...
Rhydon deez nuts!
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.