Worst Jokes Ever
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.
Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
Have you ever eaten African food?
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.