Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When a plane is in one of the sides.
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.