Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.

Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

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    • New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

    Students: "OOF!"

    Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

    Students: "Your parents!"

    A boy and his mother survived a car crash.

    The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."

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    • So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."

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    • What’s the difference between hungry and horny?

    Where you put the cucumber 🥒

    My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

    I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.

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    • "Knock Knock"

    "Who's there?"

    "9/11"

    "9/11 Who?"

    "I thought you'd never forget..."

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

    What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

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