Worst Jokes Ever

Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...

"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"

"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."

You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.

The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation.

Why do orphans want to be dogs?

Because they want their own bed and food.

What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.

What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?

Its rings!

An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.

When I woke, I was being sexually abused.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?

"STUPID VINIGGER!"

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.