Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?

Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!

  • 2
  • My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.

    He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

  • 0
  • When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.

    9/11 victims are the best readers.

    They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.

  • 8
  • Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!

    If you say to someone, "Have a nice day!" it will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours," they'll be terrified.

  • 4
  • They found out that Michael Jackson was transgender, he went from he/him to hee-hee.

    Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

    Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."

    Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."

    The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

    Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"

    Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

    Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

    Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

    This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

    Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"

    The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

    "My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"

  • 7
  • A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

    Priest: "What did you do, child?"

    Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

    Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

    Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

    Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

    Girl: "Yes, Father."

    Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

    Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

    Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

    Girl: "Yes, Father."

    Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

    Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."

    Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

    Girl: "Yes, Father."

    Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

    Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

    Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

    Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

    Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

    Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"

    Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

    I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!

  • 1
  • If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?