Worst Jokes Ever
Who is the best at musical chairs?
The kid in the wheelchair.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Putin's Brain:
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
Chloe Lutwyche, Bella Battese, and Hayley Wilson.
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
I'm a rapist.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.
I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
"Cummin in yo mama, cummin in yo mama."
I'm Michael Sam. I'm gay.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!