Worst Jokes Ever
I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.
Why do bisexual men šØ š© šØ love gay men bisexual men don't love gay men š¬ šØ šØ they just wanted to suck gay men's š¬ cocks š š because they š š like their šØ šØ š¦ š¦ cream filling š āŗ š š š¤ š š āŗ š š š¤ š š āŗ
Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask š· on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask š· on her dildo, but the mask š· keep falling off the dildo.
You know what I hate about rape?
Keeping it a secret.
What is gay - curious š¤ š³
š¬ š¬ a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a šØ š© šØ bisexual man.
šØ šØ š© š² š² š² does it cycle now?
š² š² š²
š¢ š sorry for your luck šÆ honey it sucks šŖ š š to be you.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?
Fingering A minor.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.
Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!