Worst Jokes Ever
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What do you call a triggered white kid?
A school shooter!
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
I am Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are HeHee.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.