Worst Jokes Ever
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!