Worst Jokes Ever
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.