Worst Jokes Ever
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...
What is black and long?
A line at KFC.
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
Family photo.
What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.