Worst Jokes Ever
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?
A: The X-Men.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A milkshake.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.