Worst Jokes Ever
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.