Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100. Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan. The kid said, “Yeah what gave me away?” Jim said,” l don’t see any parents.”
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise? The dead hang.
Why do emo kids cost so much? Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
A couple is on their first date. Man: How do you feel about sex? Woman: I like it infrequently. Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub? Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger? Orange is the new black
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re then what does having sex for free make you? Non-profit wh*reganisation
what do u call a group of emo people?
"the suicide squad"
Why do Arabs hate chess? Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments)
Yo mama is so stupid she thought keeping you was a good idea
An old professor’s class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?” With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. “Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
I know 5 fat people, you're 4 of them
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?.... Micheal Phelps can finish a race
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane? It scares the shit out of her dog.
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Lettuce stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
